Book Promo ~ Codependent Discovery and Recovery 2.0

Overcome Codependency with a Holistic Approach;
Reinvent Yourself in Positive, Powerful Ways

“Mary approaches codependency from a holistic, well-rounded perspective that enables people to choose a path of empowerment and enlightenment. Through this book, she will continue to inspire and guide colleagues in the mental health field, as well as individuals struggling with codependency.”
Jesse Williams, LPC/MHSP, licensed therapist at Trauma and Anxiety Center, LLC

Mary Joye LMHC 

 Codependency can run deep within us and take control of our relationships until the patterns become so entrenched that we feel helpless and unable to overcome them no matter how hard we try. It can be exhausting and leave you feeling impaired, but the good news is, you can be repaired and find freedom from codependency.

As a healed codependent and licensed therapist, Mary Joye, LMHC, has helped people get in touch with their emotions. Through her unique approach, she provides a holistic alternative to typical 12-step addiction models and covers the full spectrum of codependency.

In her new book, Codependent Discovery and Recovery 2.0, Joye shows you what motivates your codependency and teaches you how to overcome the toxic thinking and behaviors associated with it by using evidence-based techniques of healing. Rather than merely learning how to say no to others, you will learn how to say yes to yourself and form healthy, reciprocal relationships.  

What makes this book unique is that the reader will explore the psychological roots of codependency along with the neuroscience, spiritual and financial facets of their codependency. More importantly, the book shows readers how to apply this knowledge to recover. Complete with meditations, affirmations, a quick-fix chapter and easy two-column Life Lists that allow the opportunity for self-reflection, the book offers readers an invaluable self-help experience.

By using these transformative cognitive behavioral tools, you can change no matter where you fall on the continuum. It is possible to reinvent yourself in a positive way while learning how to give and live well.

About the Author

Mary Joye, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor and regular contributor to She was interviewed in O, The Oprah Magazine in an article titled “The Greatest Love” about her prior codependency and rise from it. Formerly, she was a professional singer/songwriter in Nashville at Warner Brothers. She reinvented herself as a licensed mental health counselor at 45. As a writer and therapist, she helps people get in touch with their emotions.

Joye lives in Winter Haven, Florida. Visit her website at:

Codependent Discovery and Recovery 2.0
Publisher: HCI Books
Release Date: August 31, 2021
ISBN-10:  0757324096
ISBN-13: 978-0757324093
Trade Paperback, 288 pages
Available for pre-order on

Book Promo ~ I CAN Believe in Myself

Book Encourages Children to Replace
Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones

This title will be released on February 23, 2021.

The delightful but powerful story I CAN Believe in Myself introduces young readers to Molly, who has been chosen to be the next Star of the Day in her school classroom. Most students would be proud and excited. Molly, however, is terrified! She just can’t speak in front of her class. She worries all day. She frets all night. “I can’t … I can’t,” Molly convinces herself. Or can she?

From the creative minds of Jack Canfield, international expert on self-esteem, goal setting, success and life improvement, and children’s book author Miriam Laundry, I CAN Believe in Myself gently challenges children to turn their negative thoughts into positive ones, seamlessly weaving themes of compassion, confidence and self-esteem into a relatable story about a young girl’s struggle to move beyond her comfort zone. Ultimately, Molly brings something special to show and tell, and uses it to help her fellow students—and even her teacher—overcome negative perceptions so they can have the confidence they need to do things they never thought possible.

Parents and teachers alike will appreciate the lifelong lessons contained in this beautifully illustrated book. Intended for children 6 to 11 years of age, I CAN Believe in Myself can help the young people in your life learn to believe in themselves, build self-esteem, and turn the word can’t into can!

Author Jack Canfield is an award-winning speaker and an internationally recognized leader in personal development and peak performance strategies. As the co-creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, he’s taught millions of individuals his formulas for success. He is the author and co-author of more than 150 books (including 66 bestsellers) with more than 100 million copies in print in 47 languages around the world. His bestselling book, The Success Principles has been hailed as the new self-improvement classic.

Co-author Miriam Laundry is a sought-after speaker at schools nationwide. She and Jack Canfield collaborated to write The Big, Bad Bully and I CAN Believe in Myself. Miriam is also the author of I CAN Make a Difference and I CAN Be Me. She set a Guinness World Record on May 7, 2014, for the largest online book discussion in a 24-hour period. More than 100,000 children and adults participated in this record with the purpose of promoting positive mental health. Her books have also received numerous book awards. Miriam also focuses on mentoring new children’s book authors in publishing their books and inspiring the next generation. She is donating her proceeds from I CAN Believe in Myself to help build a school in Guatemala through Pencils of Promise.

For more information about the authors, please visit and


I CAN Believe in Myself
Publisher: HCI Books
Release Date: February 23, 2021
ISBN-10: 075732388X
ISBN-13: 978-0757323881

Available for pre-order on

Book Promo: Lead Like Walt: Discover Walt Disney’s Magical Approach to Building Successful Organizations

Lead Like Walt: Discover Walt Disney’s Magical Approach To Building Successful Organizations

“Pat Williams has done a remarkable job of telling a very inspirational story of Walt Disney and the attributes that made him so successful. I highly recommend his book to help motivate you to a future you did not know was possible.” – Don Iwerks, Former Disney Executive, an Oscar Winner and Co-founder of Iwerks Entertainment

“Walt was a paradox. I’ve interviewed hundreds of people who knew him. A few described him as a harsh and insensitive taskmaster. Some found him charming one day, then dour and distant the next. Most lived in awe of him. How could one man be remembered so differently by different people who knew him?” says Pat William, Lead Like Walt (Section: Lead with Kindness).

Whether you are building a small business from the ground up or managing a multi-national company, you can learn the 7 key traits for leadership success from one of the greatest business innovators and creative thinkers of the 20th century: Walt Disney. Whether you know him as the first to produce cartoons in Technicolor, the mastermind behind the theme park Disneyland, or the founder of the largest entertainment conglomerate, Walt’s story of creativity, perseverance in spite of obstacles, and achieving goals resonates and inspires as much today as it ever has.

Author of the new book Lead Like Walt: Discover Walt Disney’s Magical Approach to Building Successful Organizations, Pat Williams began studying the life and leadership example of Walt Disney as he struggled to build an NBA franchise, the Orlando Magic. Since he was trying to accomplish a goal similar to so many of Walt’s—starting with nothing and building a dream from the ground up—he realized that Walt could teach him what he needed to know. And indeed he did.

Through Walt Disney’s leadership example, Pat found 7 key leadership traits that all great leaders must possess: Vision, Communication, People Skills, Character, Competence, Boldness, and A Serving Heart. Through never-before-heard Walt stories and pragmatic principles for exceeding business goals, you’ll learn how to build those skills and implement them to be effective in any leadership arena. As you discover the life of this great leader, you’ll realize that no goal is too great and no dream too daring for anyone who leads like Walt.

Lead Like Walt: Discover Walt Disney’s Magical Approach to Building Successful Organizations
Publisher: HCI Books
Pat Williams with Jim Denney
ISBN: 9789757321962
September 2019 –– $15.95
Available wherever books are sold.


Why Did She Jump? by Joan Childs

Turning Personal Tragedy Into Inspiration For
Others To Learn How To Find Healing And Peace

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recently reported the incidence of suicide is up by 24% since 1999.

A mother of five and grandmother to nine, married and divorced four times, and a clinical social worker in private practice for nearly forty years, Joan Childs thought she had experienced or seen it all. But nothing could have prepared her for the death of her beautiful daughter, Pam.  A brilliant psychotherapist, Pam battled constantly with Bipolar Disorder until one fateful summer day in 1998 when her demons overwhelmed her, she plunged to her death from a 15th floor balcony. Even with their combined credentials and medical knowledge, Pam still could not be saved. She became the driving force behind Joan Childs’ latest book, Why Did She Jump? (HCI Books), and brings hope to anyone struggling with grief from the loss of a child or loved one to mental illness, that there is hope for better tomorrows.

Fierce and tender, Joan’s compelling storytelling gives us an insightful yet sensitive look at her daughter’s life dealing with Bipolar Disorder. Peeling back the layers of pain and despair, Joan takes readers through the dark days of grief and guilt she felt both as a mother and as a frustrated professional who doesn’t understand why more hasn’t been done about this disease. With brutal honesty, Joan recalls how the lives of her entire family became entwined with her daughter’s illness as they watched her sink deeper into a place where no one could reach her. It is a powerful story of courage, hope, acceptance, and finally, forgiveness. Now, Joan reflects on her daughter’s many accomplishments, in spite of her illness, and sees them as Pam’s legacy to the world.

In an earlier book, The Myth of the Maiden: On Being a Woman, the author looks at the evolution of women from helpless maidens to dragon-slayers. Both books are excellent resources for personal growth and development after life changes and loss. In spite of many personal losses, Joan ‘walks the talk;’ she lives life to its fullest and maintains a level of energy and passion at age 76 that would put a 40-year-old to shame! A strikingly beautiful woman and energetic and inspiring speaker, Joan ignites the passion in others to find their own path to courage, healing and hope after the heartbreak and struggle of losing a loved one/child to suicide or any other cause of death.

Joan’s television series, Solutions, was dedicated to the memory of her daughter Pamela, and offered information and resources for anyone suffering from mental and mood disorders.  She provides lectures, workshops and seminars dedicated to her profession of mental health and women’s issues and is a spokesperson for bipolar disorder and suicide.

About the Author:

Joan E. Childs, LCSW, has been in private practice since 1978. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker specializing in couples therapy, known as Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy. An expert in Codependency, Inner Child Work, Original Pain Work, and Second Stage Recovery, she is certified in many modalities including a master practitioner in NLP, (neuro-linguistic programming), a master practitioner in EMDR, (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), Supervision, Hypnosis, PAIRS, (Practical Applications for Intimate Relationship Skills), and is a Certified Grief Counselor. She was the first affiliate of the John Bradshaw Center in the United States and has made appearances on national TV shows including The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Mark Wahlberg Show, Maury Povich, The Montel Williams Show, and many more.

For more information on this remarkable woman and her work, please visit the website:

Available at all online outlets and Amazon
Why Did She Jump?
My Daughter’s Battle with Bipolar Disorder

By Joan E. Childs, LCSW
Publisher: HCI Books
ISBN-13: 978-07573-1697-5 (Paperback)
ISBN-10: 07573-1697-2 (Paperback)
ISBN-13: 978-07573-1698-2 (ePub)
ISBN-10: 07573-1698-0 (ePub)


Excerpts from five-star reviews on

“… I lost my 23 year old daughter Kaitlyn to suicide… she was just starting her 3rd year of medical school… I have come to know (Joan’s) daughter through her eyes and memories and she was a beautiful person and was so loved. Her book has truly touched my heart.”

“… A true story of how Pamela, a young, beautiful psychotherapist, lived with a chronic debilitating mental illness and how her family got caught up in the whirlwind. It is also a story of how the mental health system continually failed her in not being able to provide her with any kind of useful assistance… This is a book for anyone who is contemplating a career in the health care field to make them aware of the challenges ahead.”

“This book should be read by anyone who’s lost a loved one due to mental illness and/or suicide. As a mother, I can’t imagine the pain Joan must have felt after losing her beautiful daughter. Her strength is inspiring.”

“Readers will learn more about Bipolar I Disorder, which thankfully, not every family has to deal with, but also about the grieving process, which we do all deal with. Despite being a heart-breaking story about illness, death and grief, Joan skillfully leaves you feeling better and actually hopeful at the end.”

An Unlikely Sisterhood

Standing Strong: The Inspiring Story of an Unlikely Sisterhood and the Court Case That Made History

By Diane Reeve with Jenna Glatzer

A triumphant true crime story in which a diverse group of women band together in a landmark legal case against the man who deceived them all. It’s Dallas Buyers Club meets Erin Brockovich.

Diane Reeve gives her reader a tough pill to swallow with her intensely gut-wrenching, true crime memoir Standing Strong: The Inspiring Story of an Unlikely Sisterhood and the Court Case that Made History (HCI Books — $15.95). Her 7th Degree black belt in martial arts background connects the concentration, the punches to the gut, the restraint, the thrill, the power and the knowledge to any reader that dares to grasp on to this hard-to-put-down book.

In her first chapter, Black Corvette, Diane Reeve accelerates into the moment her life takes a sharp turn. A day meant for sweet memories of her daughter’s wedding halts at a fork in the road of her life. Immediately, the reader has been captured to travel a hard-to-believe real life journey as Reeve unpacks the sick reality that Philippe Padieu, the love of her life, was deliberately infecting multiple women—women in their 20s through 60s, with little in common except their vulnerability and now… HIV.

Diagnosed with AIDs, Diane vowed to stop Philippe from victimizing anyone else despite her plummeting t-cell numbers and declining health. In a race against time, she tracked down as many of his conquests as possible. Against all odds, this unlikely group made legal history, successfully prosecuting Padieu and sending him to prison for assault with a deadly weapon.

It was a sisterhood none of them wanted to belong to, but it became their lifeline as they struggled with anger, the specter and stigma of an HIV diagnosis, and failing health.This fascinating case—won only through the help of new DNA science—is Diane’s story of victory and her mission to bring awareness and empowerment to others. As she explains, “Courage is doing what’s right, even when you’re afraid.”

Highlights from the book:

•    “He made me feel strong yet protected, desired and cherished.”

•    “I was never going to be able to forget this night, June 17, 2006; it would be forever linked with my daughter’s wedding.”

•    “Even though we were all in the same boat, I guess I hoped to be better and prettier than the others.”

•    “If there was anything in my life that I’d like to take back, it was the moment I hit “send” on that first e-mail.

•    “I exhaled. Things were going to be different. This was a man I could trust.”

•    “I was sure he could have just about any woman he wanted, and I was flattered that he chose me.”

•    “I have to do the best I can every day to show people what it is to be a person living with HIV—a real person who is more than just a diagnosis.”

Receiving widespread recognition by the media in 2009, this historical case is exposed once more and even further into the psyche of Diane. Brilliantly written, the reader is able to feel the frustration, depression, hope and the many other inconceivable emotions that Reeve encountered as she fought the battle to bring down a pathological perpetrator, build a sisterhood, and manage her very own health all at the same time. The reader becomes a part of her team and sympathizes yet roots for her courage.


Diane Reeve, “the new face of HIV,” has a B.S. Degree in nursing and a M.Ed. in adult education. Her true calling is teaching martial arts. She holds a 7th Degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do plus black belts in three additional styles. She has been the sole owner of Vision Martial Arts Center in Plano, Texas, for over twenty years and she has promoted over 170 of her own students to black belt. In 2008, she was inducted into the USA Martial Arts Hall of Fame. Diane is also broadening her efforts to be of service to others by speaking out against stigma and victim blaming. She is a popular speaker on the topics of AIDS awareness and women’s empowerment, and has become an avid advocate and activist for women.

Jenna Glatzer is the author or ghostwriter of more than 25 books. Her recent work includes The Marilyn Monroe Treasures, a Barnes & Noble bestseller; The Pregnancy Project with Gaby Rodriguez, also made into a Lifetime movie, and the authorized biography, Celine Dion: For Keeps.

Standing Strong: The Inspiring Story of an Unlikely Sisterhood
and the Court Case That Made History

By Diane Reeve with Jenna Glatzer
HCI Books / April 2016/Available wherever books are sold
Paperback / $15.95– ISBN: 9780757319020
Publishers contact info for direct orders: (800) 441-5569 or


read an excerpt

Book Promo: The Perfection Deception by Jane Bluestein

The Perfection Deception: Why Striving to Be Perfect Is Sabotaging Your Relationships, Making You Sick, and Holding Your Happiness Hostage

A predictable reaction to Dr. Jane Bluestein’s new book The Perfection Deception would be the question “What’s wrong with perfectionism?” (HCI Books $14.95). The idea of perfectionism is confused by most to be a healthy drive for excellence. Dr. Bluestein, however, explains the dangers of reaching for total perfection. There is a difference between reaching for great achievement and the physical wound that develops, or the voice of the inner critic that screams “failure” even at the face of true effort and success.

Since beginning her research, Dr. Bluestein has uncovered a wide variety of places where perfectionism presents itself. There is a constant barrage of information about what a person should be, look like, and act that leads to corrosive effects on how people see their bodies, relationships, work, and sense of worth. Commercials, ads, television shows, movies, magazines are just some examples of where these deep-seated ideals of perfectionism can be found. No matter how many outlets use perfectionism as a sign of a good thing, striving for perfectionism can be dangerous. On the other hand striving to do your best is a healthy response to any goal in life. Because of the confusion this idea brings, Dr. Bluestein specifically states that perfectionism is not necessarily a positive. She wants to make it clear that perfectionism is akin to an addiction.

As a result of her work she hopes to help people recognize the various forms in which perfectionism can seep into a person’s ideals. From there she moves on to explaining how perfectionism shapes and defines our reality or identity. Dr. Bluestein tackles this issue head-on by defining the ways perfectionism affects a person’s wellbeing. In the last section of the book she works to heal those suffering from perfectionist ideals. She employs different solutions for fighting perfectionistic habits and, as a victim herself, Dr. Bluestein admits it takes time and hard work to make progress. But imperfect progress is at least an attainable goal. Some of the issues that stem from perfectionism are deep-seated and will come back to challenge you when it is least expected. Growth and change, she believes, are possible. Her life experiences have shown that with the right information and tools people can work towards a life where the need to have perfection does not run their lives. This book is in turn Dr. Bluestein’s way of delivering that information and tools to anyone in need.

About the Author:

Dr. Jane Bluestein is an educator and an award-winning author of twelve books. She is a dynamic and entertaining speaker who has worked with thousands of counselors, healthcare professionals, parents, childcare workers, educators, and other community members worldwide. She has appeared internationally as a speaker and talk-show guest, including several appearances as a guest expert on CNN, National Public Radio and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Formerly a classroom teacher in inner-city Pittsburgh, crisis-intervention counselor, teacher training program coordinator, and volunteer with high-risk teens at a local Day Treatment Program, Dr. Bluestein currently heads Instructional Support Services, Inc., a consulting and resource firm in Albuquerque, New Mexico. For more information, please visit

Available on Amazon and wherever books are sold or to order directly from the publisher, contact: or (800) 441-5569

The Perfection Deception Why trying to Be Perfect Is Sabotaging Your Relationships, Making You Sick, and Holding Your Happiness Hostage
ISBN: 978-0-7573-1825-2 $14.95—August 2015

Author Interview

1. At the beginning of the book you mention that you had several people asking you, “What’s wrong with perfectionism?” How did you answer them?

Well, it actually took most of the book to answer that question! The shortest possible answer compares perfectionism (and the need to pull off a certain image or avoid anticipated negative reactions from making mistakes) with the healthy pursuit of excellence. I’m actually quite a big fan of accuracy, precision, and doing the best we can do. As an educator, I also know that our best efforts can always be improved upon, and that growth and learning involves imperfect steps along the way.

2. What does perfectionism look like?

This is where it gets tricky, because it can look a lot like the healthier version of trying to do our best. But “healthy striving” does not usually involve trying to prove ourselves or our worth, nor would it likely be used as a way of avoiding feelings or dealing with the real issues in our lives. Not only that, but my perfectionism may look very different from how it shows up in someone else.

I tend to cross the line when I’m over-committing or over-correcting, or when I actually think I can accomplish a to-do list that would reasonably take weeks to finish. For other people, it may demand plastic surgery or self-starvation to get their body to look a certain way, a failure to start a project (or finish one), not letting their kids have friends over because it will mess up the house, or, say not being able to work if there is one stray paper clip on their desk.

3. You talk about the impact of the media, mentioning that “the media may be the easiest to target, but it is also the hardest to ignore.” Does that mean the media causes perfectionism?

No, I wouldn’t blame the media for perfectionism. The images and values that confront us in the media (and especially advertising) do, however, encourage the pursuit of certain ideals that are not especially realistic for most people. We are barraged with messages about who we are supposed to be, how we’re supposed to look, what our lives are supposed to look like. I don’t think that’s likely to change.

My main concern was about what makes us vulnerable to these messages; a feeling like we’re inadequate if we don’t drive a certain car, wear a certain brand—not to mention size, make a certain income, or live up to standards that really are not appropriate for who we really are.

4. Why is fear such a big component of perfectionism?

I was a bit surprised how often that word came up in the research and interviews I did while I was working on this book. The whole idea of needing to be (or appear) perfect is almost always linked to some kind of fear, whether we’re talking about a fear of failure, rejection, intimacy, or abandonment, or risk to our job or financial security or social status. What fascinated me was how much these fears can cost us in terms of our physical and mental health, and in some instances, financially as well.

5. How does our early upbringing affect our tendency toward perfectionism?

A few of the resources I used mentioned a biological, inborn personality trait that makes some of us more hard-wired for perfectionistic tendencies. However, each of these resources also acknowledged the impact of an environment and experiences, especially when we’re very young. Infants and young children who are not getting the responses they need from the adults in their lives – including very basic needs such as food, safety, or attention – will do everything in their power to get these needs met.

Unfortunately, a lot of parents, including well-intentioned adults, have other issues and stress they’re dealing with and aren’t always there for their kids the way their kids need them to be. So their children develop a repertoire of coping, which often includes trying to be good enough, or trying to keep the parents happy enough (to avoid the parents getting angry), and trying to control a lot of factors that are not within their ability or responsibility to manage. This can also happen with parents who are a little too over-attached or smothering. If we’re not getting the responses we need from the people on whom we depend, it’s easy to start believing that there must be something wrong with us.

6. You mention parents on both ends of the spectrum. How can these contribute to the development of perfectionism in a child?

Children will try to get attention and approval from a parent who might be neglectful, distracted, depressed, addicted, or angry, for example. That makes sense—trying to create a sense of safety from the people on whom we depend. But there are also perfectionistic parents who “turn their tots into trophies,” looking for status in their children’s achievements, performance, or appearance. That’s a lot of pressure to put on kids, and fusing our identity and worth to another person is always going to be a risky endeavor.

7. How can parents encourage their kids without encouraging perfectionism?

It’s all about responses—to achievements and mistakes. If we express anger, impatience, or even disappointment whenever kids make mistakes, it’s easy to develop a false sense of our ability to influence and control how people feel. The same is true when we connect their achievements to our happiness. I’d like to see kids making choices for some outcome besides how-other-people-will-react. (Look at the connection to the power of peer pressure here.) Kids’ mistakes are great opportunities for helping them learn how to make better decisions next time.

If we can shift from labeling kids as “good” or “smart” to focusing on their efforts, we don’t tie up their value with their performance. Likewise, if we can describe what kids have done and connect their choices to some meaningful positive outcomes of their efforts, kids start to see the power they have to influence and change their lives when something isn’t working for them. Let’s just quit telling kids that they’re good or worthwhile or that they make us happy when they do good things, and respond to failures and mistakes simply as steps along the way to learning.

8. What would you say is the biggest problem perfectionists’ face?

Well, clearly there are quite a few, but I think that most of the problems start with a tendency toward all-or-nothing thinking. That’s where we get the idea that mistakes equal failures, where one cookie leads to a binge, where not being at the top of our class tempts us to drop out, procrastinate, or assume we are at the bottom of the heap, even if we’re only in second place. It’s what drives us to “get it right” and what inspires us to just give up when we can’t. It’s the “always” or “never” statements we make about our worth or our abilities. It’s incredibly disabling and it’s so much a part of our culture that we don’t even realize how often we reduce a person to some superficial, 2-dimensional tagline that we nevertheless accept as real.

9. We know that perfectionism can affect a person’s physical and mental health. How does it impact relationships?

Perfectionists can be really annoying. When we bring perfectionism to a relationship, we also bring along a set of expectations and standards—whether for our self or the other person—which can create a great deal of stress and alienation. When our sense of worth depends on being right, it often comes at the expense of someone else’s dignity and worth, because we insist on making them wrong (win-lose). That will put a lot of pressure on any relationship.

Look at the wide range of possible perfectionistic behaviors, and you’ll see a spectrum stretching from highly self-focused on one end to outwardly hypercritical at the other—with plenty of people likely to be quite capable of both extremes. That said, I’m frankly more concerned with the feelings and needs at the core of these expressions of perfectionism than I am with the direction in which they are projected. Whether our actions represent a lack of self-worth or a disregard for the dignity and emotional safety of someone else, I see similar threads of anger, impatience, frustration, disappointment, and even contempt.

10. You recently got an email from someone asking, “How can you tell if you’re trying to be perfect?” How did you answer that question?

I said I’d probably start by looking at my intentions: Am I doing something to satisfy curiosity or a particular passion, or am I’m doing it to look good, get approval, gain self-worth, or avoid negative reactions from others? There’s a big difference in motivation. If I’m interested in growth—learning, improving, or producing, trying to get ahead of where I was when I started, then I’m not quite so worried about getting it right, especially in the beginning. I also said that I’d want to look at the cost against whatever benefit I’m seeking. Is it worth the stress, pain, health risks to rewrite a paper a dozen times, starve or carve myself to fit into some random cultural ideal of beauty, meet an unrealistic deadline, or say, choose a career or mate based on pressure to get conditional approval or acceptance from some person or group that’s important to me. I guess the bottom line is: are we having fun yet?

11. Is there a cure for perfectionism?

Rather than looking for a cure—which, frankly, feels like a rather all-or-nothing approach to healing perfectionism—I think it might make more sense to look at ways we can recognize our inclinations and perhaps get to a point where they aren’t running our lives. I also think that it may be easier to “get” this disorder on an intellectual level than it is to actually heal the parts of ourselves deep down that created these tendencies in the first place.

Yes, we need to deal with the anxiety and stress and depression, but if we don’t look at the belief system that says “I’m not good enough unless (or until)…” then we’re really only dealing with a surface piece of what could be a challenging recovery process, one that could take some time to get through. I would not recommend looking for a quick fix for dealing with these issues.