Talking to Your Family about Money

6 Ways To Talk About Money With Your Family
Finance Cuts To Our Emotional Roots, Money Professional Says

When we think about money, let’s be honest – we’re not talking about just money, but also a host of related consequences and deeply felt emotions, says retirement specialist Lee Stoerzinger.

“Money cuts to the emotional roots of every human issue,” says Stoerzinger, a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™, head of Lee Stoerzinger, Inc.,(www.leestoerzinger.com) and author of “On The Back Burner.”

“In my years of advising, I’ve come to understand that when we talk about money, we’re layering in fear, spirit and soul. When we strip away the facts and figures, money is all very emotional. We can’t really make progress until we understand those emotions. I have found that most people don’t necessarily want to be rich—they just don’t want to be poor. Isn’t that what we all want – security?”

Stoerzinger, who says he began to see money in a new way after adopting two children from Haiti and who has helped streamline adoption efforts for other Haitian children to American families, offers ways adult children may speak to their retired or retiring family members about money.

• Start by appreciating storytelling. We communicate with one another through storytelling, and if you want to learn more about yourself, then listen to your family stories. Don’t be afraid to get your parents talking – about how they met, their first or worst job, what the economy was like when they were younger, etc. For many, talk about money is tough because families often are not communicative in general. Get to know your folks better. While you have gotten older and developed your own sense of self, you may be shocked to learn how much you have in common. Appreciate the stories and try to make for a comfortable environment, such as dinner.

• Be true to your feelings. Let your parents know how you really feel (the good and the not so good). Your feelings will outlive your parents. Let them out now, while there is time to resolve them. Clear things up and be honest. It’s good to do some spiritual housekeeping.

• Appreciate their plight and express compassion. Let them know you recognize the efforts they have made in this world. It’s very powerful to be able to say to someone, “I understand.” Everyone has sins, mistakes, failures, pain and guilt. Though you were not around to observe, your parents endured broken hearts and tough circumstances, too. They did the best they could. Let them know you “get it.” You may not approve of their actions, but you can certainly understand them.

• Be thankful out loud with gratitude. These are, after all, the people who toilet trained you. Thank them for giving you life. Think of the good times and appreciate the opportunities they provided. Vacations, education, special outings, bicycles, time together, a room of your own—let them know how grateful you are for these things. “I’m willing to bet there were times when you as a child were neither loveable nor available,” Stoerzinger says. “Their love is ultimately unconditional.”

• Apologize and make amends. We’re all capable of being mean. Whatever it is, take responsibility for your actions. A genuine “I’m sorry” allows two people to talk through a situation. This will be hard, but you won’t regret it. Sometimes it’s better to be kind than right.

• Let forgiveness in. Resentment gets us nowhere. Forgiveness is humbling in any relationship, and it helps to say, “I love you so much and I am willing to set aside my pride in order to remain in your company.” Let’s move on to more important things. Forgiveness keeps us together, even when opinions clash. In the case of profound hurts, forgiveness can be a way to heal and move on. The pain may never be resolved, but at least we can gather our dignity.

About Lee Stoerzinger

Since 1993, Lee Stoerzinger, CFP®, has dedicated his professional life to the study of finance, and to helping people become financially independent. His perspective on “true wealth” involves celebrating what we already have, honoring our commitments and helping those who need it most. After graduating from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire in 1992 with a bachelor of arts in cumulative finance, Lee began his career as an independent financial representative at his firm, Lee Stoerzinger, Inc., (www.leestoerzinger.com). Lee is a registered rep with SII Investments, Inc. A self-proclaimed “student of the world,” especially faith, history and politics, he spends much of his time trying to figure out “what it all means.” He savors his time with his wife, two children and a wonderful community of genuine friends.

Financially Survive The Golden Years

How to Financially Survive Your Golden
Years
Expert Offers Tips to Maximize Money for an Aging Population

Americans are living longer these days from an average 47 years in 1900 to more than 78 years as of 2010. We are also experiencing a deluge of adults reaching retirement age now that includes 10,000 Baby Boomers turning 65 every day.

By 2030, when the last of the baby boomers have turned 65, nearly one in five Americans will be retirement age, according to the Pew Research Center’s population projections. Money will be a big problem for many of them, especially if boomers develop health problems that affect their ability to live independently, says insurance expert and CEO of Life Care Funding Chris Orestis.

“Life Care Funding created a financial solution for seniors that own a life insurance policy that converts the policy into a Long-Term Care Benefit Plan; this gives the policy owner the option to use their policy while still alive to help pay for their choice of any form of senior care services,” says Orestis, a former insurance industry lobbyist who recently contributed to the federal Commission on Long-Term Care’s fact-finding mission.

“With 30 percent of the Medicaid population consuming 87 percent of Medicaid dollars on long-term care services, we can see that’s not going to be sustainable,” Orestis says. “More individuals will be forced to find their own resources to pay for those needs. That’s why states such as California, Florida, New York and Texas are embracing legislation requiring seniors to be notified that they can convert their life insurance policy for 30 to 60 percent of its death benefit value. The money can be put into an irrevocable fund designated specifically for any form of care they choose.”

Orestis details more ways in which seniors might handle long-term care and other budgetary issues:

• Senior discounts really add up! Here’s a list of establishments to check out:www.lifecarefunding.com/blog/senior-discounts/. Restaurants, supermarkets, department stores, travel deals and other merchants give various senior discounts with minimum age requirements ranging from 55 to 62. Some of these places are worth making habits, with 15 percent off the bill at Applebee’s, 30 percent off at Banana Republic and 60 percent off at Food Lion on Mondays! Don’t forget your free cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts if you’re 55 or older, and don’t be shy – at many of these places you’ll have to ask for the discount.

• Long-term care is a matter of survival, so use your best options. The practice of converting a life insurance policy into a Life Care Benefit has been an accepted method of payment for private duty in-home care, assisted living, skilled nursing, memory care and hospice care for years. Instead of abandoning a policy when they can no longer afford the premiums, policy owners have the option to take the present-day value of the policy while they are still alive and convert it into a Long Term Care Benefit Plan. By converting the policy, a senior will remain in private pay longer and be able to choose the form of care that they want but will be Medicaid-eligible when the benefit is spent down.

• Your “last act” may be decades away, so plan accordingly. It makes sense to finally enjoy your money after a lifetime of savings, but be smart about it. Take time to organize your paperwork and create a master file that holds things such as insurance policies, investments, property, wills and trusts, etc. so you have your financial picture in one place. Also, live smart today and hold off on that new car if you don’t need a new one. If your current car is paid off and you sit tight for an additional two years, you’ll save $7,200 on a new car with $300 monthly payments. Refinancing your home may also be a very good idea, since rates are still hovering around their all-time lows. Get at least three quotes, compare rates, terms and potential penalties to make sure you’re getting the best deal.  Also, live healthy and buy more fruits and vegetables and less junk food to lessen the chance you’ll need long-term care in the future.

About Chris Orestis

Chris Orestis, nationally known senior health-care advocate and expert is CEO of Life Care Funding, which created the model for converting life insurance policies into protected Long-Term Care Benefit funds. His company has been providing care benefits to policy holders since 2007. A former life insurance industry lobbyist with a background in long-term care issues, he created the model to provide an option for middle-class people who are not wealthy enough to pay for long-term care, and not poor enough to qualify for Medicaid.