Book Promo: Men Chase, Women Choose by Dawn Maslar, MS

At The Intersection Of Science And Love:
Men Chase, Women Choose

“Men Chase, Women Choose is warm and witty with a perfect balance of science and insight. You’ll find yourself wondering why a book of this magnitude didn’t come out sooner. But like everything else in life, all in due time.” – Gabe Berman, author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

“Understanding the anthropological principles that underlie our responses to love does not lessen its beauty and enigmatic wonder, but allows us to clearly view love as a biological responsibility.”- Lisa McCourt, author of Juicy Joy: 7 Simple Steps to Your Glorious, Gutsy Self

A question that seems as old as time comes closer to a definitive answer than ever before ― What is love? In Men Chase, Women Choose, Dawn Maslar, MS, provides engaging insights into one of life’s most elusive and misunderstood topics by offering science-based research to help anyone discover and sustain love. Maslar’s relatable and easy-to-read book uses the most relevant neurological, physiological, and biochemical studies on the science of love, while incorporating stories and examples based on participants of her popular classes and seminars.

For the past decade, the “love biologist” has been using her cutting-edge research to describe how the brain works when two people first meet, start to date, fall in love, and then move on to a more passionate, lifelong love. Even simpler, she breaks down her love science into four precisely timed phases:

1.    Attraction
2.    Dating
3.    Falling in love
4.    Real love

During these phases, Maslar explains that “love” is actually neural activity as well as the presence or absence of certain neurotransmitters. Most people associate love with the euphoric feeling during which anxiety is low or nonexistent among these brain signals. However, Maslar demonstrates that levels of anxiety and other feelings can fluctuate throughout love’s path. “Love isn’t just one thing that you luckily fall into,” says Maslar. “Finding and maintaining lifelong love is a process … Because the stages are different, you can feel different emotions during each phase.”

Maslar reasons that once we understand how love works, we can make educated decisions. Men Chase, Women Choose helps readers in this boundless endeavor by addressing all those time-honored questions like:

•    Does love at first sight really exist?
•    Who should make the first move?
•    What happens to your brain when you fall in love?
•    Why won’t he commit?
•    Why does love make us crazy?
•    What can you do to have love that lasts a lifetime?

Readers can expect answers involving how love is a biological need, the “natural laws” of love, purposes of the brain’s anatomy, and how testosterone and other biochemical differences between men and women affect how we love. Maslar states, “When you understand the science of love, it will help you easily and effortlessly find nourishing and passionate, long-lasting love.”

More praise for Men Chase, Women Choose…

“Whether in between relationships or currently in one, readers will find valuable insight on how men and women interact with each other and what dynamics long-term relationships need to work. Maslar mixes scientific concepts, often with humor, making it a light and enjoyable read. – Theresa Braun, author of Groom and Doom: A Greek Love Story and dating blogger.

“Finally, a book that doesn’t treat finding true love like a Nora Ephron movie! Biology, nature, evolution … they all play a role in helping us find that special someone. Or in keeping them from us forever. – Eric Rogell, author of The Art of War for Dating

About the Author:

Dawn Maslar, MS, (Davie, FL) award-winning author, adjunct biology professor and the go-to authority on the science of love. She was voted one of the Top 20 Most Followed Dating Experts on Twitter and Best 28 Dating, Marriage and Relationship Blogs in the UK to follow in 2015. She is a contributing author at scienceofrelationship.com, a collection of leading experts in the field of scientific relationship research. She is a TEDx speaker on How Your Brain Falls in Love and worked with the TED Education division to create their Science of Attraction video. Her work has been featured on South Florida Today, Pittsburgh Tribune and NPR. Her online videos have had over 2 million views. In addition to the book, she has created The Great Love Experiment; a show where audience members learn about the science of love by participating in research reenactments on stage. It’s a fun and often hilarious event that she does at colleges, comedy clubs and singles events. See excerpts of the show here: https://vimeo.com/168358958

Men Chase, Women Choose: The Neuroscience of Meeting, Dating, Losing Your Mind and Finding True Love
By Dawn Maslar, MS
Available directly from the publisher at www.hcibooks.com or 800-441-5569
and at Amazon, Barnes&Noble, and other fine retailers.
ISBN: 9780757319259

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Book Review: That’s Why I Married You: How to Dance with Personality Differences

That’s Why I Married You! is not your average marriage book, but a practical handbook for couples written by marriage expert Chana Levitan. Learn how to not only live with personality differences but to actually love those differences. The fact is that we’re naturally attracted to someone who possesses significant differences (amid various similarities). These differences hold a tremendous power of connection and vibrancy if we can use them correctly. Without the proper emotional tools and the right mindset, however, these very differences can trip a couple up and can even wreak havoc in a marriage.

Marriage help is often right in front of us. When a couple finally opens their eyes to the power hidden within their personality differences, they often find themselves saying, Oh…that’s why I married you! It is truly exciting to discover the many ways each spouse completes each other as a result of their personality differences.

That’s Why I Married You! is packed with essential marriage advice, information, practical exercises, tips and charts. Through the real-life narratives of successful couples who share how they make their personality differences work, the reader will find inspiration and guidance. Marriage is the ultimate journey; That’s Why I Married You! is the qualified manual for a successful journey.

Reviews

Chana Levitan crystallizes the treacherous steps that lead to a downward spiraling marriage. She then clarifies options for transitioning to upward spiraling, that is, for emerging from annoyance at differences to enjoying each other, differences and all. Essential reading for all couples who want a lasting and loving marriage, and for marriage therapists as well. This book earns a super-bravo! —Susan Heitler, PhD, Author of Prescriptions Without Pills: For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety and More

This research-based book is a gem. It shines light on why its not the differences between people that cause marital problems its how those differences are understood, handled, accepted and embraced. Buy the book, read it, follow its wisdom and increase your chances for what we all dream of – – a happy, healthy, life-time love and marriage. —Dr. Howard Markman, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology and Co-Director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver

Chana Levitan has written a very practical and thorough book that provides a roadmap for achieving a paradigm shift. Practical, clearly explained recommendations provide couples with tools to transform their personality differences into a powerful engine for personal growth and deepened connection. I highly recommend this book for singles, couples, and marriage therapists. —David Pelcovitz, PhD, Straus Chair in Psychology and Education, Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration, Yeshiva University

I read Ms. Levitan’s book from the perspective of almost four decades in family court as advocate, mediator, and decisor. This book should be given away by every marriage license bureau in the country to every applicant. If they would just follow her approach, I might never meet them. —Dan Butler, Family court judge; nationally renowned speaker

About the Author

Chana Levitan, MSc, is an educator, speaker, therapist and author with twenty-five years of experience. Her best-selling book I Only Want to Get Married Once is a clear and practical guide to choosing the right marriage partner. Chana has lectured extensively across the globe on four different continents and has counseled thousands of men and women on dating and marriage. She is a frequent guest on television and radio talk shows, including WCBS 880 and WLS 890. A native New Yorker, Chana now lives in Jerusalem with her husband and children.

Happy Valentine’s Weekend!

Finding A Magical Match Online
This Valentine’s Day
Couple Says ‘Mirror Effect’ Can Help You
Discover Your Soul Mate

The approach of Valentine’s Day can nudge some single people into once again launching their search for true romance.

The question is how to go about it. Many may try online dating, but most still fail to find the love of their life.

They endure date after date with potential partners who prove a poor match. The experience leaves them feeling frustrated and hopeless, and makes them reluctant to continue to put their trust in the Internet to find a lasting relationship.

But it could be the dating methodology that’s the problem.

So how can online dating succeed when relationships fail 50 percent of the time, asks Troy Pummill, an entrepreneur from Silicon Valley whose courtship with his wife, Judy Day, led the couple to create a different kind of dating and relationship site, www.MagicalMatches.com. 

“There is a fatal flaw that keeps people failing,” Pummill says. “Dating and relationships is one single, inseparable, continuous progression. Online dating addresses a small portion of the progression—just the introduction. Online dating drops daters at the front door of the restaurant. The daters are on their own from there.”

People get more training on how to drive a car than how to find the right partner, say Pummill and Day, who co-authored the book “The Mirror Effect: More Than Soul Mates (6 Steps to Finding Your Magical Match Using Online Dating).”

“People fail over and over at the part after the introduction, which leaves them feeling like they’ll never find love,” Day says.

The couple says the “mirror effect” addresses the complete process, from dating all the way through relationship by supplying the first new blueprint for relationships in 50 years.

So how does the Mirror Effect and the 6 Steps draw a new relationships blueprint? It demolishes the 50-year-old traditional relationship paradigm and builds a distinctly different approach to dating and relationships, Pummill and Day say.

•  Provides a relationship target. Today, relationships are a mix of work and love.  But the 50 percent divorce rate tells us that “work and love” are not enough. The Mirror Effect changes that equation by producing astoundingly deep loving relationships that are not work. Mirror Law No. 1 says that if you’re working at your relationship, it’s the wrong relationship.

•  Uses 6 Steps.  In order to succeed at the entire dating and relationship progression, the 6 Steps to Finding Your Magical Match links introduction, dating, relationship, and selection into a single, successful progression in which each step builds on the previous and leads to the next.

•  Provides tangible measurements. One of the major failures in online dating is that there are no tangible measurements. Having a relationship target and a set of steps allows each step to be measured to ensure that the dater is on the path to an amazing, profound relationship that will change their life.

•  Restores the dater’s hope and faith. Using a designed, results-oriented dating and relationship plan equals more successes and far fewer failures. Daters not only begin to feel that finding deep love is possible, but that it is inevitable.  It restores hope that they will succeed and restores faith in love itself.

About Troy Pummill and Judy Day

Troy Pummill is an inventor, consultant and entrepreneur with 25 years experience in Silicon Valley, where he worked with start-up network equipment manufacturers specializing in network protocols. After a 20-year marriage, Pummill discovered the “mirror effect” during his pursuit of true love, leading him and Judy Day, his wife, to create MagicalMatches.com (www.MagicalMatches.com) and co-author “The Mirror Effect: More Than Soul Mates (6 Steps to Finding Your Magical Match Using Online Dating).” Day is a CEO, patent holder and entrepreneur. She ran a high-altitude hospital at the base of Mount Everest while working as an intensive care unit registered nurse. She never considered marriage until encountering the “mirror effect.”

Book Promo: The Mirror Effect: More Than Soul Mates; 6 Steps to Finding Your Magical Match Using Online Dating

The Mirror Effect: More Than Soul Mates; 6 Steps to Finding Your Magical Match Using Online Dating 

by Troy Pummill & Judy Day

How to Find Your Online Match During the Holiday Season
Unhappily Single? Dating & Relationship Entrepreneurs Offer Tips

New research suggests that online dating is succeeding at making better relationships – but how much better is it really?

The research, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences from a survey of 20,000 people who took the plunge between 2005 and 2012, found an increase in marital satisfaction from online dating, but only by a slim margin.

“Such a small gain in satisfaction signals only one possible conclusion: We will continue to experience a very high long-term divorce rate until there is a significant improvement in martial happiness”, says Troy Pummill, an entrepreneur from Silicon Valley whose courtship with his wife, Judy Day, led the couple to create a different kind of dating and relationship site,www.MagicalMatches.com. 

“Online dating has potential to be the greatest leap forward in finding love, ever.  But, until online dating goes beyond mere introductions to suggest a new approach to dating and relationships, people will continue to treat online dating like a virtual bar, which is a road that inevitably leads to the same failed relationships of the past. It’s not working. It’s time for a radical departure.”

To that end, the couple has co-authored “The Mirror Effect: More Than Soul Mates (6 Steps to Finding Your Magical Match Using Online Dating)” which provides a distinctly different approach of dating and relationships. 

“The ‘mirror effect’ is a phenomenon that reveals a profound, immediate connection that occurs between two people who are highly alike,” says Day.  “It happens when you find a person whose heart and soul is just like yours – you think and feel the same, value the same things, enjoy the same things. That connection can lead to deep love, a lasting romance.”

How do you find lasting, deep love online?  Pummill and Day offer these tips:

•  Your profile can be your most powerful tool – if you use it correctly.Don’t waste time listing superficial, external attributes that have nothing to do with who you are inside. Not only will it look just like a million other profiles, it won’t help your “mirror” find you. A profile should reflect who you are inside, the essential qualities that shape your soul, heart and mind. Instead of “I like movies, traveling and jigsaw puzzles,” write about your dreams, aspirations, passions and feelings regarding your perspectives on love and life and how you view the world.  These qualities present a clear picture of your core elements – and anyone with the same qualities will recognize a match.

•  If your relationship is work, it’s the wrong relationship. This is Mirror Law No.1. Traditionally, we’re taught that relationships take work, and lots of it. With a perfect mirror, however, there’s no friction and no compromise. Having a happy, fulfilling relationship is effortless. You will likely meet people who are nearly mirror matches, but hold out for the perfect magical match. Life is short and time is precious; be willing to let the near misses go.

•  Commit to your search; make it a mission. As with anything you wish in life, in order to succeed, you must wholeheartedly commit to the process: Use a profile that mirrors your heart, soul and mind; date only those who see themselves in your profile; quickly let go of the near misses; don’t settle for less than absolutely amazing. You will find that when you demand the best, eventually, you get it. 

About Troy Pummill and Judy Day

Troy Pummill is an inventor, consultant and entrepreneur with 25 years experience in Silicon Valley, where he worked with start-up network equipment manufacturers specializing in network protocols. After a 20-year marriage, Pummill discovered the “mirror effect” during his pursuit of true love, leading him and Judy Day, his wife, to create MagicalMatches.com (www.MagicalMatches.com) and co-author “The Mirror Effect: More Than Soul Mates (6 Steps to Finding Your Magical Match Using Online Dating).” Day is a CEO, patent holder and entrepreneur. She ran a high-altitude hospital at the base of Mount Everest while working as an intensive care unit registered nurse. She never considered marriage until encountering the “mirror effect.”

Six Tips to Make a Great First Impression on a First Date

Jacqueline Whitmore is an internationally-recognized etiquette expert and founder of the Protocol School of Palm Beach.  Her six tips to stand out from a sea of other suitors and impress your next date:

 

1. Plan ahead. A little preparation will help you appear calm, confident and composed no matter how anxious you may actually feel. Equip yourself with interesting conversation topics. Do your research. If you and your date share a mutual friend, ask about your date’s hobbies and interests. To appear knowledgeable and interesting, brush up on current events. It’s best to know a little about a lot so you’ll be able to converse with your date on a variety of subjects. Stay away from controversial topics including politics and religion, until you get to know each other better.

 

2. Do your homework. It takes work to make a romantic evening appear effortless. If you want to guarantee a great first impression, research the location or venue. For example, if you plan to take your date to a restaurant, go online and familiarize yourself with the menu. Look for foods that are easy to eat and won’t end up on your nice outfit. The person who does the inviting does the paying. Plan to give your credit card to your server before your date arrives or as the meal is coming to a close. Excuse yourself during the dessert course and find your server. It’s best to take care of the check away from the table if you want to appear savvy and sophisticated.

 

3. Be punctual. When you show up on time, you send a clear message that you’re responsible and respectful of your date’s time. If you plan to meet your date at a restaurant, give yourself plenty of time to find the location, go to the restroom, check your appearance and gain your composure.

 

4. Dress to impress. Your appearance is part of your personal brand and is your opportunity to showcase your personality. You’re more likely to make a great first impression if you appear well dressed and “put together.” When you choose an outfit, take into account where you plan to go and what you plan to do on your date. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to look good. Instead, create a foundation for your wardrobe with an investment in timeless pieces.

 

5. Greet your date warmly. A firm handshake or a peck on the cheek is the most appropriate way to greet your date when you first meet. Your greeting should be warm, friendly and sincere. Remember to make eye contact and smile. The smile is the most beautiful curve on the human body. A handshake that is too firm or too weak may give off a negative impression. If you’re seated when your date arrives, stand up and say hello. Standing shows respect for the other person and for yourself.

 

6. Be an attentive listener. A good conversation is like a tennis match. It only works when you hit the ball in the other person’s court. In other words, don’t talk only about yourself. You’ll impress your date if you show you’re fully engaged, listen, and ask pertinent questions. Never interrupt or finish your date’s sentences. You don’t want to appear rude or in a hurry. Don’t talk with your mouth full of food and don’t text or talk on your cell phone. Give your date your undivided attention. Attentive listening builds trust, establishes rapport, leaves a great first impression, and almost always guarantees a second date.

Jacqueline Whitmore

Jacqueline Whitmore, CSP, is an international etiquette expert, author, and spokesperson who has helped thousands of people around the world learn to be more confident and courteous in business and social situations. She is the author of Poised for Success (St. Martin’s Press, November 2011) and Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work (St. Martin’s Press, 2005), which is currently in its tenth printing and has been translated into four languages.

For more information about Ms. Whitmore, go to http://jacquelinewhitmore.com/

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Dating for Older Singles

Navigating the Dating Scene in the
‘Age of the Selfie’
Certified Life Coach Shares 4 Tips for Older Singles

All the good ones are taken … I’m too old to feel THAT way again … I don’t look as good as I used to … I haven’t accomplished enough at my age … I don’t even know how to flirt anymore …

For older singles hungry for partnership, these common worries can prevent taking the steps that lead to fulfilling relationships, says dating and life coach Deborah Downey. And, of course, the dating scene has changed quite a bit in the past decade alone; younger people meet online and wallpaper their profiles with “selfies.”

“Although the ‘selfie’ is now widely accepted, there are some older singles who are intimidated by what it seems to signify: that we’ve gone from the ‘Age of Aquarius’ to an age of vanity and superficiality,” says Downey, author of “What Are You Worried About!” (http://www.coachdeborahdowney.com/).

“It’s one thing to be self-actualized and self-enriched; it’s another to be self-absorbed.”

For older singles looking to date — and more, there’s plenty to feel optimistic about, says Downey, who found romance later in life after her husband passed away. Despite living with multiple sclerosis for 25 years, she says, she’s happy and fulfilled.

There are more singles than ever age 40 and older that are looking for love. Downey offers tips for the older single looking for a meaningful and lasting connection.

•  Ignore ego-based doubts. It’s easy to idealize memories of dating when you were younger, perhaps in better shape and more energetic. But most likely, your younger self was also scared of not being “good enough” and was probably not as self-actualized as who you are today. Don’t fall for the ego doubts of your youth; embrace your maturity, part of which includes accepting who you are in any situation. If that is difficult, consider this period in your life as an opportunity to improve self-acceptance.

•  Know your target and have fun! Dating takes time and effort, so don’t go into it blind. You may want to specify your preferences, such as “non-smoker” or “financially independent” or “health conscious.” Once on your date, remember that you’re supposed to be having fun, nerves notwithstanding. The best way to gauge whether the date is going well is to take note of whether you’re actually enjoying yourself. 

•  Internet dating is legit. The stigma against meeting dates online has all but lifted. You’ll want to represent yourself fairly and accurately in a profile. Don’t go blank and write an overly simple profile; tell a good, positive story about a small victory during childhood or talk about your bucket list. Forget about clichés like wine tastings or hobbies, avoid poor spelling and make sure your photo is current. Don’t try to be “cool” or clever; just be real. When meeting someone, use common sense: take it slow, be wary of scams, meet in a public place and so on.

•  Consider the sensibilities of your date. After a few successful dates, remember that men and women share universal sensibilities. Men and women both like to be complimented, admired and appreciated. Everyone wants to feel important. Specifically, men like it when women suggest doing something together that he will like, such as going fishing or to a sporting event. Women generally appreciate being encouraged to express their feelings, and when men share their own feelings.

“Above all, be comfortable and in touch with your inner self and you’ll be more likely to be ‘lucky in love,’ ” Downey says.

About Deborah Downey

Deborah Downey’s experience spans 25 years of recovery in various 12-step programs around the country. Holding certifications as a professional life coach and as a chemical dependency counselor, Downey has dealt with addiction in its various forms, both as the child of alcoholic parents and as a confidant for others. In her self-help book, “What Are You Worried About!” (http://www.coachdeborahdowney.com/), Downey, who has multiple sclerosis, details a proactive approach to training one’s mind to think positive.

Online Dating Scams

3 Red Flags That She’s Too Good to be True
Avoid a Scam, or Worse, When Navigating the Dating Scene

Not only have online dating sites opened up a whole new dynamic for singles looking for company – attitudes about the viability of these sites have become more positive.

The Pew Research Center recently published the following survey results:

•  Almost 60 percent of Americans say online dating sites are a good way to meet people, up from 44 percent in 2005.

•  While one-third of those who use the sites never go on an actual date – that leaves 66 percent of users who do.

•  One in five young adults have used a dating site, and they’re growing in popularity with older adults, too.

“I was one of those older adults who found online dating sites to be a convenient way to meet women for potential romance,” says Charles W. Massie, a baby boomer who wrote about his online dating experience in a new novel, “Stains on the Gavel” (www.starshowpublications.com).

“Middle-aged singles have a smaller pool to draw from because so many men and women are married with families by then. That makes finding love tough.”

Massie, an entrepreneurial businessman with his own business and a full schedule, says he was elated when things progressed quickly online with a hot prospect.

“I almost couldn’t believe how lucky I was,” he says. “Unfortunately, I didbelieve it, which led to this woman taking advantage of me in the worst way.”

The woman set him up in an elaborate ruse that resulted in him going to jail on false charges, while she took possession of everything he owned.

“Something that was too good to be true wound up becoming a nightmare,” says Massie, who suggests these red flags:

•  She likes everything about you. “To put it simply, I quit thinking with my brain,” he says.

No matter how smart, established or successful you may be in other aspects of life, just about everyone of any age loves being love-drunk; it’s not just for teens like Romeo and Juliet. But what are the chances that a smart and very attractive woman, about whom you know next to nothing, likes everything you like, do and are?

“The food I liked, the hobbies I liked, the music I liked and political affiliations were identical to hers,” he says. “That was a red flag.”

•  She asks you to move in almost immediately. Most smart young women are somewhat cautious while getting to know a potential new love interest. 

“This woman, however, was all too eager for me to leave my home state to move into her home,” Massie says. “That should tell you one of at least two things: she’s either desperate for someone because she’s emotionally unstable, or she has no fear of you, which could mean she’s working an angle.”

•  She really is, physically, too good to be true. It’s possible that a hot date that’s “out of your league” will come to love you for who you are – in time! On the other hand, when you weigh all of the conditions that may include the fact that you don’t really know her, nor she you; that you are financially sound and she is not; that she suggests a living situation that’s moving far too fast; that you’ve only known each other for a matter of weeks, and never met in person – “yeah, at that point, you should be at least a little skeptical,” he says.

About Charles Massie

Charles Massie is an engineer, former member of the U.S. Navy and businessman, overseeing several companies including Massie Engineering Associates and InfoTech Consulting. He’s also a prolific writer and owner of Starshow Publications. “Stains on the Gavel,”www.starshowpublications.com, continues the story of his online dating and criminal justice nightmare, which began in his first novel, “Pinned: A Kentucky True Crime.”

Online Dating for Boomers

A Boomer’s Guide to Online Dating
Veteran Shares Experience-Based Tips to Avoid Scams
– and Worse

Nearly half of all single baby boomers are dating, and many of them are swelling the profiles of online matchmaking websites with names like SilverSingles, SeniorPassions and dating.aarp.org.

Match.com, one of the largest dating sites for people of all ages, says its baby boomer clientele has grown 90 percent in five years, with a quarter of its 15 million users ages 50 to 65.

“Older people love a good romance as much as 20-somethings, and many of us still get just as love-drunk as we did when we wore size 32 Levis with no Expanda-Waist,” says Charles W. Massie, a baby boomer who wrote about his online dating experience in a new novel, “Stains on the Gavel” (www.starshowpublications.com).

“But you’ve really got to be careful, whether you’re a woman or a man. A lot of women my age complain the men they meet haven’t changed at all in 50 years – they want to skip the coffee and head straight for the bedroom. My experience was even worse!”

Massie says the woman he met went to great lengths to make him believe she was completely smitten.

“Plain and simple – I quit thinking with my brain,” he says.

The woman ended up setting him up in an elaborate ruse that resulted in him going to jail on false charges and her in possession of everything he owned.

Whether you’re meeting people through social media networks, dating sites or through online advertising, Massie offers these cautionary tips for fellow boomers.

•  Don’t use Craigslist as a dating website. Just don’t. People advertising on Craigslist haven’t been vetted by anyone – you have no idea if anything they’re saying is true, Massie says. Several people have died at the hands of those they met on Craigslist, and it’s not just women who are vulnerable. In 2012, Troy LaFerrara was killed by a young couple he met through a “companionship” ad. “The ‘black widow’ who snared me I met through Craigslist,” Massie says.

•  If it looks too good to be true, beware! Let’s face it, as we age, we want to believe we’re still the hot young stud or studette that we were in our prime, but we’re not, Massie says. If some beautiful woman or extraordinarily handsome man suddenly becomes completely enamored of you, be wary. Yes, it does happen sometimes, but we become extremely vulnerable when we want something to be true so badly that we ignore all signs to the contrary.

•  Don’t rush into cohabitation. If you have an independent lifestyle – your own home, etc. – don’t be tempted to move right in with your new honey. Think about the advice you’d give your own kids or grandkids! Once you’re sharing an abode, that person not only has access to all of your personal belongings, computer, accounts, etc., he or she also has more control if you’ve moved into their place. If you invite him or her to move in with you, it can be very difficult to remove the person if you realize you’ve saddled up with a freeloader.

Many of the safety and other concerns associated with meeting people online are the same no matter what your age, Massie notes.

“But when you’re older, you may be lonelier or less secure about how attractive you are to the opposite sex, and that leads you to do irrational things,” he says. “Enjoy the person, get to know them, but stay true to yourself and adhere to commonsense rules.”

About Charles Massie

Charles Massie is an engineer, former member of the U.S. Navy and businessman, overseeing several companies including Massie Engineering Associates and InfoTech Consulting. He’s also a prolific writer and owner of Starshow Publications. “Stains on the Gavel,” www.starshowpublications.com, continues the story of his online dating and criminal justice nightmare, which begins in his first novel, “Pinned: A Kentucky True Crime.”