Book Review: That’s Why I Married You: How to Dance with Personality Differences

That’s Why I Married You! is not your average marriage book, but a practical handbook for couples written by marriage expert Chana Levitan. Learn how to not only live with personality differences but to actually love those differences. The fact is that we’re naturally attracted to someone who possesses significant differences (amid various similarities). These differences hold a tremendous power of connection and vibrancy if we can use them correctly. Without the proper emotional tools and the right mindset, however, these very differences can trip a couple up and can even wreak havoc in a marriage.

Marriage help is often right in front of us. When a couple finally opens their eyes to the power hidden within their personality differences, they often find themselves saying, Oh…that’s why I married you! It is truly exciting to discover the many ways each spouse completes each other as a result of their personality differences.

That’s Why I Married You! is packed with essential marriage advice, information, practical exercises, tips and charts. Through the real-life narratives of successful couples who share how they make their personality differences work, the reader will find inspiration and guidance. Marriage is the ultimate journey; That’s Why I Married You! is the qualified manual for a successful journey.


Chana Levitan crystallizes the treacherous steps that lead to a downward spiraling marriage. She then clarifies options for transitioning to upward spiraling, that is, for emerging from annoyance at differences to enjoying each other, differences and all. Essential reading for all couples who want a lasting and loving marriage, and for marriage therapists as well. This book earns a super-bravo! —Susan Heitler, PhD, Author of Prescriptions Without Pills: For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety and More

This research-based book is a gem. It shines light on why its not the differences between people that cause marital problems its how those differences are understood, handled, accepted and embraced. Buy the book, read it, follow its wisdom and increase your chances for what we all dream of – – a happy, healthy, life-time love and marriage.Dr. Howard Markman, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology and Co-Director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver

Chana Levitan has written a very practical and thorough book that provides a roadmap for achieving a paradigm shift. Practical, clearly explained recommendations provide couples with tools to transform their personality differences into a powerful engine for personal growth and deepened connection. I highly recommend this book for singles, couples, and marriage therapists. —David Pelcovitz, PhD, Straus Chair in Psychology and Education, Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration, Yeshiva University

I read Ms. Levitan’s book from the perspective of almost four decades in family court as advocate, mediator, and decisor. This book should be given away by every marriage license bureau in the country to every applicant. If they would just follow her approach, I might never meet them. —Dan Butler, Family court judge; nationally renowned speaker

About the Author

chanalevitanChana Levitan, MSc, is an educator, speaker, therapist and author with twenty-five years of experience. Her best-selling book I Only Want to Get Married Once is a clear and practical guide to choosing the right marriage partner. Chana has lectured extensively across the globe on four different continents and has counseled thousands of men and women on dating and marriage. She is a frequent guest on television and radio talk shows, including WCBS 880 and WLS 890. A native New Yorker, Chana now lives in Jerusalem with her husband and children.