War, Spies, and Bobby Sox by Libby Fischer Hellmann

War, Spies and Bobby Sox:
When The Anguish Of War Reaches
Beyond The Front Lines And Brings
Terror To The Home Front

While World War II rages across Europe and the Pacific, its impact ripples through communities in the heartland of America. War, Spies And Bobby Sox is a trio of tales: A farm girl is locked in a dangerous love triangle with two German soldiers held in an Illinois POW camp … Another German, a war refugee, is forced to risk her life spying on the developing Manhattan Project in Chicago … And espionage surrounds the disappearance of an actress from the thriving Jewish community of Chicago’s Lawndale.  Acclaimed thriller author Libby Fischer Hellmann beautifully depicts the tumultuous effect of war on the home front and illustrates how the action, terror, and tragedy of World War II was not confined to the front lines.

Libby Fischer Hellmann left a career in broadcast news in Washington, DC and moved to Chicago 35 years ago, where she, naturally, began to write gritty crime fiction. Fourteen novels and twenty short stories later, she claims they’ll take her out of the Windy City feet first. She has been nominated for many awards in the mystery and crime writing community and has even won a few.

Her novels include the now five-volume Ellie Foreman series, which she describes as a cross between “Desperate Housewives” and “24;” the hard-boiled 4-volume Georgia Davis PI series, and three stand-alone historical thrillers that Libby calls her “Revolution Trilogy.” Her short stories have been published in a dozen anthologies, the Saturday Evening Post, and Ed Gorman’s “25 Criminally Good Short Stories” collection.  In 2005 Libby was the national president of Sisters In Crime, a 3500 member organization dedicated to the advancement of female crime authors. She also hosts a monthly radio show called “Second Sunday Crime” on the Authors on the Air internet network and just began hosting a monthly web streaming interview show, “Solved!” (Please visit: http://authorsvoice.net/ for more).

War, Spies, & Bobby Sox: Stories About World War Two At Home is award-winning author Hellmann’s fourteenth work and fourth volume of historical fiction. For more information, please visit her website: http://libbyhellmann.com.

War, Spies, and Bobby Sox: Stories About World War Two At Home
The Red Herrings Press
Available in print, ebook and audiobook online and wherever fine books are sold
ISBN:   978-1-938733-97-0
E-book: 978-1-938733-98-7
Audiobook: 978-1-938733-99-4

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The User’s Guide to Spiritual Teachers by Scott Edelstein

New Book Explores the Virtues—and Dangers—of Spiritual Teachers

USER’S GUIDE TO SPIRITUAL TEACHERS

A spiritual teacher isn’t an ordinary member of the clergy. They are a perceptive, caring, trustworthy human being who provides one-to-one, in-depth spiritual direction.

Celebrities such as Madonna and Russell Brand, and writers such as Elizabeth Gilbert and Deepak Chopra, have all worked with spiritual teachers. So have millions of people from almost every major religious tradition—as well as millions of others who are spiritual but not religious.

A new book, The User’s Guide to Spiritual Teachers, provides invaluable guidance for anyone who is curious about spiritual teachers—or who wants to work with one but doesn’t know how or where to begin.

This user-friendly book also offers practical wisdom for anyone who already has a spiritual teacher, and wants to make the most of that relationship.

Still more important, The User’s Guide to Spiritual Teachers helps readers spot and avoid the predators, narcissists, charlatans, and cult leaders who call themselves spiritual teachers—and who have ruined many people’s lives.

The book’s author, Scott Edelstein, has studied happily and productively with spiritual teachers for the past four decades. He has also served as editor and literary agent for several spiritual teachers. A longtime practitioner of both Judaism and Buddhism, he is a committed proponent of serious spirituality in all forms and traditions.

The User’s Guide to Spiritual Teachers was published on March 21 by Wisdom Publications. Wisdom also published Edelstein’s previous book, Sex and the Spiritual Teacher, which examines the all-too-common problem of sexual misconduct among spiritual teachers.

Edelstein’s website on spiritual teachers, www.thespiritualteachersite.com, provides more information on the subject, as well as book excerpts, related articles, and links to media interviews with Edelstein.

The User’s Guide to Spiritual Teachers
By Scott Edelstein
Publisher: Wisdom Publications, Somerville, MA
Release date: March 21, 2017
Trade paperback, $15.95; e-book, $9.99; 182 pages
ISBN-10: 0861716108
ISBN-13: 978-0861716104
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Publishers Weekly: “In this short handbook, Edelstein guides readers through choosing and working with spiritual teachers. Drawing on his four decades of experience working with spiritual teachers as an editor and agent as well as a student, Edelstein addresses a surprisingly wide range of topics to help readers make the most of their relationships with spiritual teachers.”

Kathleen Dowling Singh, author of The Grace in Living: “A small book with a big message.”

David Rynick, author of The Truth Never Fails: “A wonderful resource. This guide is down-to-earth and offers a broader perspective about what to expect and not expect from spiritual teachers.”

Tim Burkett, author of Nothing Holy About It: “Finally, a well thought-out, easy-to-read guide to help folks assess whether a given teacher may be prone to abuse his power over them or is genuinely interested in empowering them.”

James Ishmael Ford, author of If You’re Lucky, Your Heart Will Break: “Scott Edelstein’s guide is simple, practical, and useful. It cuts through most of the confusion in seeking a spiritual guide with the clarity of someone who has been through it all. I recommend it to anyone embarking on the spiritual path, or thinking maybe they should be looking for a spiritual guide.”

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History Comes Alive In A Powerful Story Of Eternal Friendship And Love

Smell the Raindrops is a beautiful story of friendship, unbreakable bonds, love and hope that crosses all boundaries and knows no limits.

Smell the Raindrops

  by B.A. Austin

Against the backdrop of civil rights, women’s rights and other much-needed movements to bring equality and dignity to all, a beautiful story of personal transformation unfolds. The daughter of a successful businessman and his stylish wife, Bethany Ann grows up in Memphis, studies in Maine, and experiences a bittersweet mix of love, heartbreak and triumph in California. Her number one guiding force at every stage is an enduring friendship, first in person and later in spirit, with her African-American nanny Karine, a nurturing woman of quiet strength who raised Bethany Ann as if she was her own daughter. A rewarding read and an immersive experience that brings history alive through a poignant personal story.

For all the pain it caused, segregation also contributed to expanding rings of healing, forgiveness and tolerance for a lucky few. Smell the Raindrops: One young woman’s journey through life, love and recovery documents a personal story of addiction and the power of forgiveness within a rich and complex relationship.

Segregation and social injustice created a peculiar bond between African-American women and the white children they so often raised as their own. Bethany Ann came from a wealthy white family in the segregated South. Karine came from a poor, black neighborhood at the peak of the civil rights movement. They met in the heart, and the quiet strength and nurturing force of Karine became an enduring touchstone.

Although Karine’s wisdom and physical presence do not follow Bethany Ann into adulthood, the relationship is a gift with a lasting impact. A poignant personal story, Smell the Raindrops is also a compelling commentary on the past and present racial climate in our country.

Smell the Raindrops
BA Austin
Available at the author’s website:
http://www.baaustin.com/books
and online everywhere

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About the Author:

B. A. Austin is an independent art history lecturer with a Bachelor of Arts from Bowdoin College and a Master of Arts from the University of Memphis.  Austin created this memoir-style work of fiction based on her own experiences across the country, infusing each page with a deep sense of place and time. It is a journey across America, across several generations, bringing readers intimately close to day-to-day events that shaped our history.

An article from Lumbie Mlambo

How To Help Our Brothers & Sisters In Need
Tips & Reasons For Support, From Charity Founder

The poor are always with us – and in great numbers.

In the United States, about 46.5 million people live in poverty, according to the Brookings Institution. Worldwide, the number of impoverished people is about 1.6 billion, according to a study by Oxford economists.

“There is so much need out there and that’s why I believe it’s important that all of us do whatever we can to help the underprivileged,” says Lumbie Mlambo, editor of Equanimity Magazine (www.equanimitymag.com), an online publication that features inspiring stories of life and success.

“Who knows? You may someday wear their shoes. It’s like your health; nothing is guaranteed.”

Mlambo co-founded JB Dondolo Inc., a charity named for her father that promotes and develops projects that stimulate growth and improve people’s lives in low-income areas. One of the charity’s newer projects involves health and educational programs for underprivileged boys and girls.

“The truth is that regardless of whether a nation is industrialized or not, the needy are everywhere,” Mlambo says. “Many people require aid and support around the world and, most likely, in your community.”

A variety of private and public agencies try to help, she says, but their resources are limited and they can’t provide for every community in need of assistance or basic necessities. This leaves a large segment of low-income population with unmet needs, which is why it’s so important for everyone to do what they can to help the needy.

Mlambo offers tips for how we can get started helping our brothers and sisters in need.

 One person’s trash … Next time you’re taking time to clear some room in your closet or garage, remember that, though you may be finished with an item, someone else may need it. Those old pajamas, underwear and t-shirts that you’re fond of tossing in the trash can be turned into cloth rags for cleaning at home, or for other organizations to help under-privileged earn a subsistence income through using them for cloth crafting. Items such as loose leaf pages of paper, construction paper, crayons (broken and whole), markers, pens and pencils are perfectly useful, especially for poor children going back to school.

• Help others on date night. Lavish dresses, spotless tuxedos and expensive dishes are not only for fancy people. You, too, can attend a luxurious gala event to benefit charity. While this kind of event may be attended by affluent community leaders and well-to-do folks who may enjoy gratuitous back-slapping, the more important consideration is who benefits. Various good causes may be small businesses and historic sites in your town; better causes, however, often go toward organizations that benefit struggling families, disadvantaged children and homeless people. This will likely be more expensive than your typical date night, but most are doable for middle-class couples.

 Donate your professional skills. Among the great charitable organizations are programs supporting Guardians ad Litem, or GALs. A GAL is a person the court appoints to represent the best interests of a child in a divorce or parental rights and responsibilities case. The GAL will investigate the family situation and advise the court about where a child should live and what type of contact parents should have with their children. A professional with backgrounds including the law or journalism may be great for such work, but there are many other worthy causes if this doesn’t fit what you’re good at. A chef may help prepare tasty meals on Thanksgiving, or a salon worker may help make young girls with cancer feel pretty. Most professions can apply their expertise in the service of others.

About Lumbie Mlambo

Lumbie Mlambo Owner, Equanimity LLCLumbie Mlambo is editor of Equanimity Magazine (www.equanimitymag.com), a lifestyle publication that shares the stories of “real people and their search to lead better lives.” She also has a background in project management, computer/software engineering and business analysis. She holds an associate degree in computer science from Indiana University South Bend; and a bachelor’s degree in computer science and mathematics from Texas Woman’s University. She is multilingual, speaking English, Zulu, Ndebele and French.

Book Promo: The Perfection Deception by Jane Bluestein

The Perfection Deception: Why Striving to Be Perfect Is Sabotaging Your Relationships, Making You Sick, and Holding Your Happiness Hostage

A predictable reaction to Dr. Jane Bluestein’s new book The Perfection Deception would be the question “What’s wrong with perfectionism?” (HCI Books $14.95). The idea of perfectionism is confused by most to be a healthy drive for excellence. Dr. Bluestein, however, explains the dangers of reaching for total perfection. There is a difference between reaching for great achievement and the physical wound that develops, or the voice of the inner critic that screams “failure” even at the face of true effort and success.

Since beginning her research, Dr. Bluestein has uncovered a wide variety of places where perfectionism presents itself. There is a constant barrage of information about what a person should be, look like, and act that leads to corrosive effects on how people see their bodies, relationships, work, and sense of worth. Commercials, ads, television shows, movies, magazines are just some examples of where these deep-seated ideals of perfectionism can be found. No matter how many outlets use perfectionism as a sign of a good thing, striving for perfectionism can be dangerous. On the other hand striving to do your best is a healthy response to any goal in life. Because of the confusion this idea brings, Dr. Bluestein specifically states that perfectionism is not necessarily a positive. She wants to make it clear that perfectionism is akin to an addiction.

As a result of her work she hopes to help people recognize the various forms in which perfectionism can seep into a person’s ideals. From there she moves on to explaining how perfectionism shapes and defines our reality or identity. Dr. Bluestein tackles this issue head-on by defining the ways perfectionism affects a person’s wellbeing. In the last section of the book she works to heal those suffering from perfectionist ideals. She employs different solutions for fighting perfectionistic habits and, as a victim herself, Dr. Bluestein admits it takes time and hard work to make progress. But imperfect progress is at least an attainable goal. Some of the issues that stem from perfectionism are deep-seated and will come back to challenge you when it is least expected. Growth and change, she believes, are possible. Her life experiences have shown that with the right information and tools people can work towards a life where the need to have perfection does not run their lives. This book is in turn Dr. Bluestein’s way of delivering that information and tools to anyone in need.

About the Author:

Dr. Jane Bluestein is an educator and an award-winning author of twelve books. She is a dynamic and entertaining speaker who has worked with thousands of counselors, healthcare professionals, parents, childcare workers, educators, and other community members worldwide. She has appeared internationally as a speaker and talk-show guest, including several appearances as a guest expert on CNN, National Public Radio and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Formerly a classroom teacher in inner-city Pittsburgh, crisis-intervention counselor, teacher training program coordinator, and volunteer with high-risk teens at a local Day Treatment Program, Dr. Bluestein currently heads Instructional Support Services, Inc., a consulting and resource firm in Albuquerque, New Mexico. For more information, please visit www.janebluestein.com.

Available on Amazon and wherever books are sold or to order directly from the publisher, contact: www.hcibooks.com or (800) 441-5569

The Perfection Deception Why trying to Be Perfect Is Sabotaging Your Relationships, Making You Sick, and Holding Your Happiness Hostage
ISBN: 978-0-7573-1825-2 $14.95—August 2015

Author Interview

1. At the beginning of the book you mention that you had several people asking you, “What’s wrong with perfectionism?” How did you answer them?

Well, it actually took most of the book to answer that question! The shortest possible answer compares perfectionism (and the need to pull off a certain image or avoid anticipated negative reactions from making mistakes) with the healthy pursuit of excellence. I’m actually quite a big fan of accuracy, precision, and doing the best we can do. As an educator, I also know that our best efforts can always be improved upon, and that growth and learning involves imperfect steps along the way.

2. What does perfectionism look like?

This is where it gets tricky, because it can look a lot like the healthier version of trying to do our best. But “healthy striving” does not usually involve trying to prove ourselves or our worth, nor would it likely be used as a way of avoiding feelings or dealing with the real issues in our lives. Not only that, but my perfectionism may look very different from how it shows up in someone else.

I tend to cross the line when I’m over-committing or over-correcting, or when I actually think I can accomplish a to-do list that would reasonably take weeks to finish. For other people, it may demand plastic surgery or self-starvation to get their body to look a certain way, a failure to start a project (or finish one), not letting their kids have friends over because it will mess up the house, or, say not being able to work if there is one stray paper clip on their desk.

3. You talk about the impact of the media, mentioning that “the media may be the easiest to target, but it is also the hardest to ignore.” Does that mean the media causes perfectionism?

No, I wouldn’t blame the media for perfectionism. The images and values that confront us in the media (and especially advertising) do, however, encourage the pursuit of certain ideals that are not especially realistic for most people. We are barraged with messages about who we are supposed to be, how we’re supposed to look, what our lives are supposed to look like. I don’t think that’s likely to change.

My main concern was about what makes us vulnerable to these messages; a feeling like we’re inadequate if we don’t drive a certain car, wear a certain brand—not to mention size, make a certain income, or live up to standards that really are not appropriate for who we really are.

4. Why is fear such a big component of perfectionism?

I was a bit surprised how often that word came up in the research and interviews I did while I was working on this book. The whole idea of needing to be (or appear) perfect is almost always linked to some kind of fear, whether we’re talking about a fear of failure, rejection, intimacy, or abandonment, or risk to our job or financial security or social status. What fascinated me was how much these fears can cost us in terms of our physical and mental health, and in some instances, financially as well.

5. How does our early upbringing affect our tendency toward perfectionism?

A few of the resources I used mentioned a biological, inborn personality trait that makes some of us more hard-wired for perfectionistic tendencies. However, each of these resources also acknowledged the impact of an environment and experiences, especially when we’re very young. Infants and young children who are not getting the responses they need from the adults in their lives – including very basic needs such as food, safety, or attention – will do everything in their power to get these needs met.

Unfortunately, a lot of parents, including well-intentioned adults, have other issues and stress they’re dealing with and aren’t always there for their kids the way their kids need them to be. So their children develop a repertoire of coping, which often includes trying to be good enough, or trying to keep the parents happy enough (to avoid the parents getting angry), and trying to control a lot of factors that are not within their ability or responsibility to manage. This can also happen with parents who are a little too over-attached or smothering. If we’re not getting the responses we need from the people on whom we depend, it’s easy to start believing that there must be something wrong with us.

6. You mention parents on both ends of the spectrum. How can these contribute to the development of perfectionism in a child?

Children will try to get attention and approval from a parent who might be neglectful, distracted, depressed, addicted, or angry, for example. That makes sense—trying to create a sense of safety from the people on whom we depend. But there are also perfectionistic parents who “turn their tots into trophies,” looking for status in their children’s achievements, performance, or appearance. That’s a lot of pressure to put on kids, and fusing our identity and worth to another person is always going to be a risky endeavor.

7. How can parents encourage their kids without encouraging perfectionism?

It’s all about responses—to achievements and mistakes. If we express anger, impatience, or even disappointment whenever kids make mistakes, it’s easy to develop a false sense of our ability to influence and control how people feel. The same is true when we connect their achievements to our happiness. I’d like to see kids making choices for some outcome besides how-other-people-will-react. (Look at the connection to the power of peer pressure here.) Kids’ mistakes are great opportunities for helping them learn how to make better decisions next time.

If we can shift from labeling kids as “good” or “smart” to focusing on their efforts, we don’t tie up their value with their performance. Likewise, if we can describe what kids have done and connect their choices to some meaningful positive outcomes of their efforts, kids start to see the power they have to influence and change their lives when something isn’t working for them. Let’s just quit telling kids that they’re good or worthwhile or that they make us happy when they do good things, and respond to failures and mistakes simply as steps along the way to learning.

8. What would you say is the biggest problem perfectionists’ face?

Well, clearly there are quite a few, but I think that most of the problems start with a tendency toward all-or-nothing thinking. That’s where we get the idea that mistakes equal failures, where one cookie leads to a binge, where not being at the top of our class tempts us to drop out, procrastinate, or assume we are at the bottom of the heap, even if we’re only in second place. It’s what drives us to “get it right” and what inspires us to just give up when we can’t. It’s the “always” or “never” statements we make about our worth or our abilities. It’s incredibly disabling and it’s so much a part of our culture that we don’t even realize how often we reduce a person to some superficial, 2-dimensional tagline that we nevertheless accept as real.

9. We know that perfectionism can affect a person’s physical and mental health. How does it impact relationships?

Perfectionists can be really annoying. When we bring perfectionism to a relationship, we also bring along a set of expectations and standards—whether for our self or the other person—which can create a great deal of stress and alienation. When our sense of worth depends on being right, it often comes at the expense of someone else’s dignity and worth, because we insist on making them wrong (win-lose). That will put a lot of pressure on any relationship.

Look at the wide range of possible perfectionistic behaviors, and you’ll see a spectrum stretching from highly self-focused on one end to outwardly hypercritical at the other—with plenty of people likely to be quite capable of both extremes. That said, I’m frankly more concerned with the feelings and needs at the core of these expressions of perfectionism than I am with the direction in which they are projected. Whether our actions represent a lack of self-worth or a disregard for the dignity and emotional safety of someone else, I see similar threads of anger, impatience, frustration, disappointment, and even contempt.

10. You recently got an email from someone asking, “How can you tell if you’re trying to be perfect?” How did you answer that question?

I said I’d probably start by looking at my intentions: Am I doing something to satisfy curiosity or a particular passion, or am I’m doing it to look good, get approval, gain self-worth, or avoid negative reactions from others? There’s a big difference in motivation. If I’m interested in growth—learning, improving, or producing, trying to get ahead of where I was when I started, then I’m not quite so worried about getting it right, especially in the beginning. I also said that I’d want to look at the cost against whatever benefit I’m seeking. Is it worth the stress, pain, health risks to rewrite a paper a dozen times, starve or carve myself to fit into some random cultural ideal of beauty, meet an unrealistic deadline, or say, choose a career or mate based on pressure to get conditional approval or acceptance from some person or group that’s important to me. I guess the bottom line is: are we having fun yet?

11. Is there a cure for perfectionism?

Rather than looking for a cure—which, frankly, feels like a rather all-or-nothing approach to healing perfectionism—I think it might make more sense to look at ways we can recognize our inclinations and perhaps get to a point where they aren’t running our lives. I also think that it may be easier to “get” this disorder on an intellectual level than it is to actually heal the parts of ourselves deep down that created these tendencies in the first place.

Yes, we need to deal with the anxiety and stress and depression, but if we don’t look at the belief system that says “I’m not good enough unless (or until)…” then we’re really only dealing with a surface piece of what could be a challenging recovery process, one that could take some time to get through. I would not recommend looking for a quick fix for dealing with these issues.